Last week I shared how we have lost relational capacity collectively, and how this makes being there for each other really hard. You may feel restless and lonely often, but others irritate you. You want to feel connected and seen, but also low-key hate people – so go away…
As I said before, it’s not just you. Many of us have noticed that decline in capacity – like the person who goes for a walk and realise they’re out of breath after 10mins. Their lungs are telling the truth: this body is struggling to keep up with this activity. The deconditioning is real but, unless there’s a serious illness causing it, we also know is reversible.
Your body can increase its capacity to go for longer walks, right? Just by going for more walks: 12, 16, 25, 50min… Some days you won’t be able, some days will feel like you’re moving backwards.
But as long as your intention is clear, there will be progress. You increase your capacity for difficult things by doing the difficult thing MORE.
Your relational capacity works in a similar way: the more you practise relational skills (with others) the more you’ll increase your capacity for it.
This is what you’ll get out of it:
- You will be more patient, small things people do will not bother you so much.
- You will remember how it feels to be witnessed with undivided attention, and how it’s a gift we give to each other.
- You will reconnect with your innate curiosity and start conversations with strangers in cafes, making your days more interesting.
- You’ll say ‘yes’ to more bbq invitations and actually show up (because you really want to be there).
- You’ll build the capacity and courage to have the difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding for months with your parent/partner/friend.
- You’ll stop thinking of ‘no’ as a rejection and start seeing it as an opportunity – an invitation to get curious about each other and what matters to us.
- You’ll show up more authentically – you’ll stop people-pleasing your coworker Sam, start that social project that has been in your mind for years, go on more road adventures with friends, enter a charity shop and come out with bold colours you didn’t know you liked…
- You’ll recognise and kindly challenge your patterns when connecting with people (yes, you and I also have avoidant and anxious traits – super securely attached people don’t need to practice connection. We do and that’s ok)
- You’ll feel in your bones that if things get hard, you can reach out and people will have your back.
These are the things we’ll be exploring at the Connection Playground in Perth on the 23rd November.
After the event, you will be part of a community who has reconnected with their capacity to give to others from a place of joy and generosity, instead of guilt and resentment.
The beautiful thing about being human is that every day we have the opportunity to start over. The even more beautiful thing about being human is that we can do it together.
There are people already waiting for you at the playground 🙂 Are you ready for better connection?
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
